The first

It's hard for me not to point out the most beautiful thing in my life straight off the bat and then i figured, why do i have to?
Without a doubt despite the growling the exasperation and frustrations the best things in my life are my kids.
I rarely have to leave the house to find beauty in when i have the most beautiful golden hearted kids i could ever hope for right here.
And sure, I want to strangle them sometimes.  And i need time away from them on a regular basis because i'm the sort of person to need time away form everybody fairly regularly.
And i' not blind to reality of it  My oldest has impulse control issues, and is one of the biggest drama queens I've ever met.
My youngest is stubborn and somehow mixes the most frustrating level of being both oblivious and clued in.
The hit, bite, kick, climb, get into things they shouldn't, make a mess, and are generally loud.
They also cuddle laugh, dance, jump in puddles, play, tell stories, share, display amazing (at least to me it its amazing) levels of care and concern for others.
This is the first time here that I've said they are the best thing in my world but i will guarantee it won't be the last.
Today (two days ago) the beauty in my life is my girls,
Jordana and Victoria!

In the beginning - Life can be a struggle

I send a lot of time thinking about how i should feel about life, my family, and the world in general.
I do this because there is a distinct lack of me actually feeling that way about my life and i intellectually know how lucky i am in life.  Home, family, job, marriage, kids, food, warmth, and the list goes on of things i have to be grateful for.
In the face of all that amazing stuff, i struggle.  I'm not going to go into that because it makes me sound like an ungrateful prat and it makes me feel like one even more.  But instead of thinking about how i should be feeling about my world I've recently decided to try making some positive steps towards actually feeling that way about life.
Step one, has been to clean my house up, a work in progress ad one that goes very slowly in the face of two wee folk who have learned to be messy and lazy from their parents.
My second step is to make this blog.  It's a largely personal journey mostly for me.
The goal i have here is to find the beauty and wonder in my life.  every day, to look until i find it, to stop and appreciate it, to take a photo of it, to remember that moment, that scene, or that feeling instead of doing what i do most naturally and that's allow my grumpy and more negative emotions and thoughts rule how i see the world.
So this is day 1.  It's only 9.02am so i have no reason for not starting today...when we leave the house i'll be armed with my camera and the mind set of seeing the beauty in my world.
Wish me well.